Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize
