we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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