Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
