I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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