areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize