So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
