Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
