I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
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