Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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