Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
