I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
