Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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