he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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