Can i not drive my cunt home
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize