I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
