You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
