I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
