dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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