talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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