It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
