Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
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