You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
