Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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