haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize