Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
