actually, I'm a sock model
I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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