He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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