I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
