Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Randomize
