It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
NoShamevember. You game?
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
