Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
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