would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize
