How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
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