peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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