I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
