yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
