like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
