You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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