Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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