And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
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