im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
