Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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