I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
