oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
