He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I wish life had little blips of pornography
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
