Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
