Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
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