i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize