everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Randomize
