I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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