After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
