just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
