ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Randomize
