He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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