singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
