just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Randomize
