so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Randomize
