ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
