I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Randomize
