Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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