Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
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