Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
