if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
